I had plans of speaking for International Women's Day this year but the weather had other plans and so the evening was canceled. I would like to share with you what I had prepared.
Good evening I would like to thank you for the opportunity to speak to such a wonderful group of women on international women’s day.
Sue had asked me on a previous occasion a few years back to speak and I declined thinking I didn’t have a lot to say about my experience as a female in a predominately male profession as an Ordained Minister. So when Pam messaged me in January I reconsidered and thought yeah I probably have a few things I could say.
Firstly I would like to say I love my calling. I love being part of people’s lives on their best days (weddings) and some of their hardest days (funerals). My theme scripture is John 13:34 I’m giving you a new commandment: Love each other in the same way that I have loved you. I feel like if I can share love with families in the good times and the bad times that’s what it’s all about. I would like to make it very clear the good in my calling far outweighs the bad. I call it a calling for two reasons firstly because since I was 14 years old I truly did feel like being a Minister was what God wanted me to be. Secondly, I have a day job that pays my bills. It’s a “helping” job so not a stretch from my calling. I work Monday – Friday for Family and Child Education Anglophone South, some here tonight might know me from a wedding I’ve done, a funeral I’ve done or maybe I’ve actually done your child’s EYE DA or in-home services to work on development or parenting programs.
Behind the scenes of a female minister….
Things I think Male Minister don’t often hear or deal with…
• You’re a female you shouldn’t be preaching and having authority over men. Well, my education and ordination tells another story. Yet that doesn’t stop people from preaching against women preachers. At one point when I was preaching full time, I had someone teach an adult Sunday School on the point that Women shouldn’t be preaching in the church I was preaching at and I was attending the Sunday School class. Galatians 3:28-29 In Christ's family there can be no division into Jew and non-Jew, slave and free, male and female. Among us you are all equal. That is, we are all in a common relationship with Jesus Christ. I feel as if this scripture debunks the theory of me not being able to preach to a congregation with males in it due to my gender. I even had a ceremony ready for a wedding then the Bride had to decline my services because the Husband to be wasn’t comfortable with a woman preacher doing their wedding ceremony. All I have to say is have fun in that relationship. It both shocks and scares me when young men have this closed of a view in this day and age!
• “You’re the minister? You’re the best-looking minister I’ve ever seen.” I get this often. It's a weird perception people have. I feel like it would be rare for someone to have the audacity to say anything about a male minister’s appearance and yet because I’m female I find people tend to think it’s ok. There is a wide range of comments I get some just compliments and it’s left at that (which by no means insults me) others unashamedly hit on the minister! And I will just leave it at that.
• Worthy of my hire Luke 10:7 says the laborer is worthy of their hire! From what I gather I’m one of the least expensive officiants around our area. Other Ministers, Justice of the Peace, lawyers charge more to officiate your ceremony and that is with them choosing the ceremony not giving you the option to weigh in on what you would like. So locally I have a set price regardless of the simplicity or complexity of your ceremony and people still try to get me to lower my cost. I feel like that is directly related to being a female minister. If I was a lawyer who told you my cost you wouldn’t question it. I don’t think anyone would even question a male minister’s cost. I know any other service isn’t questioned when you’re planning your wedding. I am the one performing your ceremony without me you’re not getting married and yet often people seem to recent paying me. Or don’t have all the money the day of the wedding so you take what they give you and hope they will get back to you but they seldom do.
Those are my three main struggles as a woman in a man’s world and I suppose all boil down to respect for women and what people consider our worth to be.
I want to leave you on a positive note of your worth found in Psalms 139
O Lord, you have examined me, and you know me.
You alone know when I sit down and when I get up.
You read my thoughts from far away.
You watch me when I travel and when I rest.
You are familiar with all my ways.
Even before there is a ⌊single⌋ word on my tongue,
you know all about it, Lord.
You are all around me—in front of me and in back of me.
You lay your hand on me.
Such knowledge is beyond my grasp.
It is so high I cannot reach it.
Where can I go ⌊to get away⌋ from your Spirit?
Where can I run ⌊to get away⌋ from you?
If I go up to heaven, you are there.
If I make my bed in hell, you are there.
If I climb upward on the rays of the morning sun
⌊or⌋ land on the most distant shore of the sea where the sun sets, even there your hand would guide me
and your right hand would hold on to me.
If I say, “Let the darkness hide me
and let the light around me turn into night,”
even the darkness is not too dark for you.
Night is as bright as day.
Darkness and light are the same ⌊to you⌋.
You alone created my inner being.
You knitted me together inside my mother.
I will give thanks to you
because I have been so amazingly and miraculously made.
Your works are miraculous, and my soul is fully aware of this.
My bones were not hidden from you
when I was being made in secret,
when I was being skillfully woven in an underground workshop.
Your eyes saw me when I was only a fetus.
Every day ⌊of my life⌋ was recorded in your book
before one of them had taken place.
How precious are your thoughts concerning me, O God!
How vast in number they are!
If I try to count them,
there would be more of them than there are grains of sand.
When I wake up, I am still with you…
O Lord, you have examined me, and you know me.
You alone know when I sit down and when I get up.
You read my thoughts from far away.
You watch me when I travel and when I rest.
You are familiar with all my ways.
Even before there is a ⌊single⌋ word on my tongue,
you know all about it, Lord.
You are all around me—in front of me and in back of me.
You lay your hand on me.
Such knowledge is beyond my grasp.
It is so high I cannot reach it.
Where can I go ⌊to get away⌋ from your Spirit?
Where can I run ⌊to get away⌋ from you?
If I go up to heaven, you are there.
If I make my bed in hell, you are there.
If I climb upward on the rays of the morning sun
⌊or⌋ land on the most distant shore of the sea where the sun sets, even there your hand would guide me
and your right hand would hold on to me.
If I say, “Let the darkness hide me
and let the light around me turn into night,”
even the darkness is not too dark for you.
Night is as bright as day.
Darkness and light are the same ⌊to you⌋.
You alone created my inner being.
You knitted me together inside my mother.
I will give thanks to you
because I have been so amazingly and miraculously made.
Your works are miraculous, and my soul is fully aware of this.
My bones were not hidden from you
when I was being made in secret,
when I was being skillfully woven in an underground workshop.
Your eyes saw me when I was only a fetus.
Every day ⌊of my life⌋ was recorded in your book
before one of them had taken place.
How precious are your thoughts concerning me, O God!
How vast in number they are!
If I try to count them,
there would be more of them than there are grains of sand.
When I wake up, I am still with you…
I will end with these words from the late Billy Graham
“It is the Holy Spirit’s job to convict, God’s job to judge and my job to love.” So I will continue on with my calling and love those that cross my path even when one of the above-mentioned obstacles might be on that path.
“It is the Holy Spirit’s job to convict, God’s job to judge and my job to love.” So I will continue on with my calling and love those that cross my path even when one of the above-mentioned obstacles might be on that path.
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