Before you say I DO....

Everyone wants the happy ever after romance and love story seen on our favorite chick flicks. Unfortunately being attracted to each other doesn't mean you will get that happy ever after you're looking for.  Marriage and forever is a lot of work.  There are good times and bad times and often the bad times last a LONG TIME. Sometimes even though you love each other and are attracted to each other you are very different and attempting a lifetime together may lead to heartache.

This is a portion of a test from Neil Clark Warren one of the founders of eharmony.  Personally, I don't generally do premarital counseling before I officiate a wedding unless asked. The main reasons for not counseling are time, cost and the belief that the couple will figure out a way to get married with or without my input.  However, I would suggest to any couple before marrying to take this quick little test of compatibility and believe the results, take them to heart and save yourself pain down the road.  Canadian Divorce Rate report of the Family Justice Working Group reveal the annual number of divorces in Canada to be 70,000, as of 2016!  That's a lot of divorces take the time to make sure your relationship is something that will last.

• You score one point for every statement you agree with.

• If you both disagree with a point it may indicate compatibility. 

• But any disagreement in Section One - factors like honesty and fidelity - and you fail the test. 

#SECTION ONE The screening test. These are early warning signs that you may not get on long-term. 

1. Good character - My partner is honest and would never lie to me or cheat on me.

2. Emotional health - My partner is strong enough to deal with life's ups and downs alone.

3. Red warning flags - My partner doesn't have any addictions or excessive anxieties.

4. Anger management - We can argue to resolve issues without getting aggressive.

5. Irritability - My partner is not awkward, negative or unnecessarily critical.

6. Children - We both want the same number of children (or none at all).

7. Family background - I get on well with my partner's family.


# SECTION TWO - Personality questions. These are part of your core make-up and very hard to change. 

8. Intellect - Regardless of education we have a similar level of intelligence.

9. Energy levels - We have similar energy levels and do a similar amount of exercise.

10. Spirituality - We agree on matters of faith and have similar levels of spirituality.

11. Education - We have a similar level of education or a similar appreciation of education.

12. Appearance - We are both equally attractive to members of the opposite sex.

13. A sense of humor - My partner can make me smile and I appreciate their sense of humor.

14. Mood management - My partner doesn't have excessive mood swings.

15. Lifestyle - My partner and I want a similar sort of lifestyle.

16. Ambition - My partner and I are both equally ambitious/lacking in ambition.

17. Sexual passion - We have similar attitudes to sex and similar physical desires.

18. Artistic passion - We are both artistic or have a similar level of artistic enjoyment e.g. both enjoy art galleries, going to a concert, etc.

19. Financial values - My partner and I have similar attitudes towards money, e.g. we both try to stay out of debt/we both like to spend etc.

20. Work - We have similar attitudes towards work, e.g. we both believe in hard work.

21. Interest in current affairs/other people - My partner and I are equally interested in talking to neighbors, reading the paper etc.

22. Security/vitality - My wife is attractive/My husband makes me feel secure.

23. Time together/apart - We enjoy spending a similar amount of time together or apart.


# SECTION THREE - Skills that can be developed and may need to be for your relationship to succeed. 

24. Communication - My partner can tell me how they feel and I can tell them how I feel.

25. Solving Conflicts - We don't ignore conflicts, we deal with them. Agree/Disagree

26. Sociability - We both love going out or staying in.


# SECTION FOUR - Qualities that can be developed with a little effort from you both 

27. Adaptability - My partner is flexible and can deal with whatever life throws at her/him.

28. Kindness - My partner is kind to people even if he/ she doesn't get something in return.

29. Dominance - One of us is more dominant and the other submissive in different areas.

SCORES: 

25-29 - Congratulations. You are a good match.

20-24 - A good match but needs some work.

15-19 - You might fancy each other but it may not last.

Less than 14 - Step away now. You are very different and pursuing the relationship may lead to heartache.