1. Do we want to include the Parent’s Blessing? If so, is there any special family dynamics which need to be resolved ahead of time?
2. Do we want to personalize vows or use traditional vows? If you want Personalized vows, please let me know.
3. Are there any special people we would like to include in the service itself? (For example, a friend or relative you would like to have do a special reading or a prayer of blessing etc.)
4. Have we made plans for songs/music and decided where we want them included in the service?
5. Do we have any special requests for the content of the message? Special verse, poem, communion?
6. Do you want to use unity candles, unity sand or unity sand with children?
Unity Candles
The two outer candles represent both your lives in this moment. They are two distinct lights, each capable of going their separate ways. As you join now in marriage, there is a merging of these two lights into one light. From now on your thoughts shall be for each other rather than your individual selves. Your plans shall be mutual, your joys and sorrows shall be shared alike. As you each take a candle and together light the center one, you will extinguish your own candles, thus letting the center candle represent the union of your lives into one. One light cannot be divided; neither shall your lives be divided but a united testimony in your home. May the radiance of this one light be a testimony of your unity.
Unity Sand
- Before you met, your lives were on separate roads, each going in different directions and seemingly leading to different destinations. But somewhere along the way you met, fell in love, and today you find yourselves standing together at the entrance of a new path that will forever join your once separate journeys into one. Before each of you there is a container of sand. Each represents the separate journeys you once were on, as well as your own sets of friends and families that once were apart. In a moment I will ask that you both blend your individual containers of sand together…representing the coming together of your friends and family, through your marriage, into one. And as the sand is blended into one container, your once solitary journeys will now be one of companionship, as you walk a single path together into your future. I now ask that you blend your containers of sand together. As the sand has blended together your lives are now joined; your separate journeys through life are now one. Your friends and family are as one as well, for now you will share those who are in your lives and will walk hand in hand along the path of your marriage – united and strong husband and wife, as inseparable as these grains of sand.
- Name & Name today you are making a life-long commitment to share the rest of your lives with each other. Your relationship is symbolized through the pouring of these two individual containers of sand; each representing all that you were, all that you are, and all that you will ever be. Each one holds its own unique beauty, strength, and character. They can stand on their own and be whole, without the need of anything else. When the two are blended together they represent an entirely new and extraordinary love relationship. Each grain of sand brings to the mixture a lasting beauty that forever enriches the combination. Name and Name pick up the containers of sand You each hold your separate containers of sand that represents your lives to this moment; individual and unique. As you now combine your sand together, your lives also join together as one, symbolizing your once solitary journeys becoming one of companionship, as you walk a single path together into your future. The life that each of you have experienced individually will now be inseparably. And as walk hand in hand along the path of your marriage – united and strong husband and wife, may you be happy, blessed and as inseparable as these grains of sand.
- Unity Sand with Children Bride and groom, today you are making a life-long commitment to share the rest of your lives with each other and honor your children as well. Your family relationship is symbolized through the pouring of these two individual containers of sand; each representing all that you were, all that you are, and all that you will ever be and another container for each of your children. Names of children names will share in this marriage also. They will now come forward to help us with the Blending of the Sands. Your new family commitment and love will have a deep influence upon them and their lives. In order for the home to be a happy one, it is essential that there be love, understanding and respect between the children and the adults. As you each hold your sand the separate containers represent your lives to this moment; individual and unique. As you combine your sand together, your lives also join together as one family. You may now blend the sand together symbolizing the uniting of Mom, Dad, and children’s names into one. Just as these grains of sand can never be separated and poured again into the individual containers, so will your marriage and your family be.
7. Would you like something a little unique?
1. Love Letters- The couple write love letters to each other beforehand (but don’t show them) and, during the ceremony, seal them in a box with a bottle of wine and two glasses, to be opened on a certain anniversary or when there’s a rough patch in the marriage and they just need a reminder of why they fell in love.
2. Passing of The Rings-Wedding bands are passed thru the hands of each of the guests and they are asked to put all the love, best wishes, sweetness, hope and joy into the warmth of their hands. They are then passed back to the bride and groom to exchange. Perfect for more intimate weddings.
3. Plant A Tree- A potted tree around 4 ft tall and mixed soils from both of the parents homes are placed on top. The tree is later planted in the newlyweds yard.
4. Bridal Bouquet- The guests are all given small bunches of flowers. When the bride came in, they all stand and formed an aisle. As she walks in, she collects all of the flowers from everyone and they formed her bouquet. The last bunch is from the groom.
5. Stone Ceremony. As each guest enters the ceremony site they’re given a small polished stone. During the ceremony the officiant asks them to place a blessing on the stone for the couple. Someone collects the stones, they’re all combined at the altar and then the bride and groom add their own stones. Voila! Box of rocks! It’s nice because it involves our community in our marriage commitment.
6. Hand Ceremony- The Officiant says: Bride please take Groom’s hands in yours (palms up) Bride look at these hands as a gift, These are the hands that will work alongside yours, as together you build your future, as together you laugh and cry, and together you share your innermost secrets and dreams. Groom please take Bride’s hands (palms up) Groom look at these hands as a gift, These are the hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years, for a lifetime of happiness, as she promises her love and commitment to you all the days of her life.
7.Knot Ceremony- In the knot ceremony, the mothers of the bridal couple are given a cord, which the officiant later asks them to give to the bridal couple. The couple ties a lover’s knot, which they may save to look back on later.
8. Arras (coin exchange) Ceremony- The groom gives the bride thirteen gold coins as a symbol of his unquestionable trust and confidence. He pledges that he places all of his goods into her care and safekeeping. Acceptance by the bride means taking that trust and confidence unconditionally with total dedication and prudence. The custom of the coins originated in Spain. Often presented in ornate boxes or gift trays, the coins hold good wishes for prosperity. These coins become a part of their family heirloom.
9. Wine Ceremony- Each of our families fill a goblet with wine when they first enter, then when it gets to that part of the ceremony, the bride and groom will each pour part of their families wine into a third goblet and both drink from it. the wine they share represents the joining of their two families while the wine left in the first goblets represents their individuality and the unbreakable bond between them and our families.
10. Ribbon Wrap- With your left hands in front of you at the level of your heart the pastor takes an 1″wide x 3′ long white satin ribbon and places a few inches between your palms with the long end hanging out the bottom… you and the groom wind the rest of the ribbon around your left hands with your right hands while the song or passage is read. When the song/passage is complete the pastor holds both hands in his and says a quick prayer and unwraps them.
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